I’m 15 and I’m a girl. I have never been in a relationship. So recently I have a crush on my team captain. Initially I was just looking up/respect her as she’s awesome in sports and she’s kind of cool. Then as time grow, I started to have a crush on her. She’s a tomboy. I can’t stop thinking about her and I like being in her presence. When we have sports practice or I see her anywhere, my heart beats like crazy but I didn’t show anything. Weird thing is, I had had the thought of us kissing and such, and she was the guy (this is confusing) ? I was freaking out , the question popped out : “OMG Am I a lesbian?”. Just to let you know, this isn’t the first time I’ve question myself about my sexuality. I tried telling myself that labels aren’t that important but I just can’t stop thinking about this.
I go to an all-girls school so I don’t have many guy friends. But one thing for sure, I like guys and I want to be with one. I think I just haven’t met the right one yet. Also, I’ve had girl crushes (it’s non-sexual , I was just admiring their looks and it’s not like what I’m experiencing now).
I think I’m going crazy about this. I’m worried and I have no one to talk to about this. Any advice or thoughts? Thank you in advance.
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One Response to “I need some advice or thoughts on this.. a crush?”
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Well, by the way you put it you may be pansexual or outright bi. But this isn’t a bad thing. It’s really ok. Your not doing something wrong or necessarily being attracted to the wrong gender. There is no right or wrong. Who your you sexually attracted to isn’t your choice. People just look down upon it for the wrong reasons and they stereotype gays, bis, and lesbians (lets just call it GBL for now) as the protesters in the street having sex right there to show their disagreement or whatever. Also religion is a part of it. The rest of my family are like hardcore christians and two out of the four have an outright hatred for GBLs. My dad tells me jesus hated them too. But that raises a question: Doesn’t jesus and/or god (wtf, not really a difference i know) Love everyone? like… EVERYONE? Wouldn’t he not call us guilty for something that’s his fault in the first place? (i could go on and on about that question, but i wont.) And doesn’t he want all of his human toys to love eachother for how god made them? GBLs have it hard. Constantly hated upon, misunderstood and not fitting in. I say what most people think of GBLs is very wrong. And you shouldn’t be trying to fit in with those kinda people. The good/right people love everyone for the way they are. (but not necessarily how they act of coarse) SO STOP WORRYING! Everything is ok. Just don’t let other people make you depressed about it. Don’t let other people put you down in general. Guess what! Adults don’t make fun of, tell them to go kill themselves, and try to make other adults feel horrible. Especially not to kids. That’s because they know what’s right! (The few that do just never grew up.) Grown up ADULTS are who you should look up to. NOT all the popular kids that treat others like s***.
So don’t feel bad. If you are bi don’t worry. And by the way, im a 16 years old male that’s very straight. So this isn’t coming from just another GBL. Find people like me who accept you and live life with them! If you ever need to talk, im here for you at JustinDettman@aol.com.
Live Life Well,
Justin Dettman